Conferinta internationala asupra secretului de serviciu.
Americanul: "Eu si sotia mea lucram in aceeasi firma de 20 de ani. Eu am biroul meu, ea isi are biroul ei. Nu stiu ce face si nici nu ma intereseaza. Ea nu stie ce fac eu si nici nu o intereseaza."
Rusul: "Eu si sotia mea lucram in acelasi birou de 20 de ani. Ea are fisetul ei, eu am fisetul meu. Nu stiu ce face si nici nu ma intereseaza. Ea nu stie ce fac eu si nici nu o intereseaza."
Romanul: " Eu lucrez de 20 de ani in acelasi birou. Nu stiu ce fac si nici nu ma intereseaza."
Bancuri
Moderatori: johnnybravo, dr.pike, tudor, Adelin, Moderatori
Un tip era cu prietena sa la grãdina zoologicã. Plimbîndu-se, ajung în fata custii gorilei. Gorila (un mascul) stãtea pasivã în cuscã, fãrã nici un chef de viatã.
- Hai sã facem un experiment, îi propune tipul prietenei lui. Ridicã-ti fusta putin, sã vedem dacã are vreun efect asupra goriloiului.
Ridicã tipa fusta, goriloiul aruncã o privire, apoi revine la plictiseala lui.
- Hai sã încercãm ceva mai mult. Dã-ti bluza jos.
Dã tipa bluza jos, goriloiul devine deodatã atent.
- Aha, i-am captat atentia! Dã-ti si fusta jos.
Tipa îsi dã fusta jos, goriloiul se apropie de grilaj si n-o mai scapã din priviri.
- Din ce în ce mai interesant, zice tipul. Ia scoate-ti si chilotii.
Face tipa ce-i spusese prietenul ei, goriloiul parcã turbeazã. Se agita, trãgea de zãbrele, mai-mai sã le rupã. Deodatã tipul o ia pe tipã si o aruncã în cuscã.
- Hai sã te vãd acuma, spune-i si gorilei ca te doare capul, ca esti pe ciclu, cã te asteaptã mama acasã...
- Hai sã facem un experiment, îi propune tipul prietenei lui. Ridicã-ti fusta putin, sã vedem dacã are vreun efect asupra goriloiului.
Ridicã tipa fusta, goriloiul aruncã o privire, apoi revine la plictiseala lui.
- Hai sã încercãm ceva mai mult. Dã-ti bluza jos.
Dã tipa bluza jos, goriloiul devine deodatã atent.
- Aha, i-am captat atentia! Dã-ti si fusta jos.
Tipa îsi dã fusta jos, goriloiul se apropie de grilaj si n-o mai scapã din priviri.
- Din ce în ce mai interesant, zice tipul. Ia scoate-ti si chilotii.
Face tipa ce-i spusese prietenul ei, goriloiul parcã turbeazã. Se agita, trãgea de zãbrele, mai-mai sã le rupã. Deodatã tipul o ia pe tipã si o aruncã în cuscã.
- Hai sã te vãd acuma, spune-i si gorilei ca te doare capul, ca esti pe ciclu, cã te asteaptã mama acasã...
Reactie la campania publicitara Maggi: http://romania.indymedia.org/ro/2005/03/727.shtml
Exista si pdf-ul din care iti poti face lejer afis
Exista si pdf-ul din care iti poti face lejer afis
A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to xxx at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a law enforcement officer in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't it obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading.
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the officer.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."
The Officer says, "Have a nice day."
Moral of the story: Don't mess with a woman who reads. She may also be able to think.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a law enforcement officer in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't it obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading.
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the officer.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."
The Officer says, "Have a nice day."
Moral of the story: Don't mess with a woman who reads. She may also be able to think.
Fishing Secret
Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of xxx while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.
Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro asks, "What did you say?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro again asks, "What?"
Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"
Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of xxx while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.
Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro asks, "What did you say?"
Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."
Jethro again asks, "What?"
Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."